1. Idiots make the world go round; unfortunately they are rarely wearing pants when they do it!
2. Saying “I told you so” makes a horrible icebreaker for a frank conversation on venereal disease.
3. Cows may have more nipples, but you have to ask yourself “without opposable thumbs to pinch them, what’s the point?”
4. If the early bird gets the worm…I’m just gonna sleep in and catch lunch.
5. Fishermen are hookers, you know, if you think about it.
6. Writing is for suckers, but I just wrote that so…you know
7. Six is definitely enough, seven is almost too many.